
Life is full of decisions. Some of them are major ones that can change the trajectory of your life and others are seemingly small ones like trying to decide which flowers we need to fill out this yearโs garden. My wife has been handling the flower beds for over fifty-three years since she planted our first flower bed in St. Croix Cove, Nova Scotia. The flowers might not always have turned out as she planned but we have always enjoyed them.
Most would agree that our country feels different today than it did thirty years ago. A lot fewer houses have flowers now. My mother would have considered no flowers a dereliction of duty and a sign that no who cares about the world beyond them lives in the flowerless homes.
Even ignoring the toxic politics, people are more cautious especially since the pandemic. Also I see far less risk taking. No longer does the decision to stay close to home raise any eyebrows. Getting out on your own is an often insurmountainable challenge without help from others. The farther you are from home the farther you are from a supporrt network you can count on when you need it.
Planning for a move, assessing the potential benefits, and taking a risk on another life in an unfamiliar area far from home drove much of the change in our country until recently. Among my generation born around 1949, we could not wait to get as far away from home as possible. In my case, I started in North Carolinaโs Piedmont, went to military school in Tennessee and college in Cambridge, Massachusetts. After college I moved north to Nova Scotia. It took thirty-five years to get back to North Carolina another fifteen to get within thirty minutes of where I grew up. It was a long circuitous jouney.
Life does not come with a manual that gives us instructions on the steps we need to take for a successful existence and there are no guarantees. If you are lucky enough to have older adults in your life, you can seek their advice but with todayโs speed of technological change they might be of little help.
I grew up with a single mother who was born in 1910. I was the first of our family to go to college so I was on my own at a early age with just one piece of advice from my mother ringing in my ear. That advice, be the best that you can be at whatever you choose, was great advice but only covered a few situations.
The result was that I learned to think for myself at an early age. Not all my decisions were perfect but in the grand scheme of things they were all workable. The first big decision was to not take the law boards. Instead I took a $6,000 gift from my mother and bought 160 acres with a 250 year old farmhouse and barn on the Nova Scotia shore of the Bay of Fundy. It was a leap of faith for both my mother and me.
The move turned out to be good first steps to becoming a cattleman and eventually a director at Apple Computer. Times were very different in 1971, when I graduated from college. The only ways back then to research something was in person, by mail, books, or telephone. Long distance calls were very expensive and the mail took forever it seemed. Still those were the only tools available when making the final decision to buy my Nova Scotia farm.
Over the years my wife and I faced a number of big decisions that became turning points in our lives. Ten years and 200 head of cattle into farming in New Brunswick where we found the farm of our dreams, we were faced with twenty percent interest rates. We decided to sell our cattle and I would go to work in town. We had been successful because of the support network we had built in the tiny farm village of Tay Creek, New Brunswick. Even there it was not an unusuable decision in the world of small farmers to take a job in town. It was also a time when things especially in the computer world were moving rapidly. Two years after going to work in town, I was working for Apple and we were moving to the big city of Halifax, Nova Scotia.
Eventually, we made another leap of faith and moved our family of five to the states. It was a side step on my career but we judged it better than moving to Toronto. It worked out in the end eventually landing us in Roanoke, VA where all our children graduated from high school and eventually college.
Today is a different, less friendly world with steeper entry points to good jobs. I wonder if there is too much conflicting information available. It is easy to get overwhelmed with all the online opinions, evaluations and recommendations compounded with the difficulty of getting a good job. Making a meaningful decion is hard if your brain is overloaded with information. Much of the online informaiton is something of a rat hole which sucks you into vortex with no clear answers. To effectively make a decision you need to be brutal in discarding the opinions of others. What one person loves, you might hate. My wife and I have often made lists to evalutate our moves. We have moved enough that we can focus on the things that are important to us. We have learned it is important to set goals with our moves and to hold those goals tight.
Comparing the process for my first house purchase in 1971 to our most recent one in 2020, is an interesting exercise. We were in our fifteenth year living on the North Carolina coast when we made another leap of faith. We decided to leave the coastal paradise and people that we had grown to love. We wanted to be closer to our grandchildren, our remaining relatives, and better services especially medical ones than what we had at the coast. The Internet was our primary search tool. We made only two trips before picking a home, but we had a tight list of requirements that kept us focused on our needs. Moving during a pandemic was no picnic, but with the information that we could find on the Internet and a very good real estate agent, it was much less of a risk than my original move to Nova Scotia. Hardly anyone worked from a home office in the 70โs but today it is pretty common and my home-based job gave us lots of flexibility. It also helped that I was familiar with large part of the area where we moved from living here as a teenager.
The house purchase in 1971, involved a few letters, some tourist brochures, one trip to Nova Scotia to look at the house. Another trip a couple years earlier helped me fall in love with Nova Scotia and helped kindle a flame for Nova Scotia. Still it was a lot of faith for someone only twenty-two years old to pick up and move to another country where I knew no one.
I hope the environment in our country changes so people can take more risks that have the potential to improve their lives and the lives of everyone around them. If we had healthcare for all, mobility would be easier. There is an argument for staying in one place and developing intimate knowledge of one area. I know some people who have thrived living in one area and others who have become insular and perhaps jealous of others who have seen more of the world I believe the arguments are much stronger for spreading you wings and being the new person or outsider in the area a few times in your life. Living where you are the outsider builds tolerance, patience, and acceptance, all values that are hard to find today.
Below is list of goals that we drew up in 2005 before our move from Roanoke, Virginia to Cape Carteret, North Carolina. We did pretty well on the list.

We did simplify our life and downsized to a home one half the size of the one where we raised our children. We were unable to find a home we could afford where we could walk to stores but giving up the stores gave us better access to water.
We gardened a lot more, our beds produced three crops a year. In 2017, I did over 10,000 steps a day for 365 days with many of those steps being along the beaches of Emerald Isle. I could often be found biking in our neighborhood late in the evening or in the early morning swimming a few laps in the pool that was a five minute walk from our home.
I piloted my 20 ft Sundance Skiff over 600 hours on the White Oak River, in Bogue Inlet, and the Atlantic Ocean.. I was a regular feature on the White Oak River in my kayak which I could slide into the water from my backyard. I caught more fishi in the ocean and river than I dreamed possible.
I took hundreds of thousands of pictures, and even published a Kindle picture book. I tried a couple of small businesses on my own but the real estate world was in collapse so I ended up joining a fiber network startup as a Vice President. I spent the last fourteen years there until retiring in 2025. We didnโt have much luck with younger relatives but I did write five books and a few thousand blog posts. I feel the leap of faith that led to adventure was worth the risk.










