Not Enough Wilderness To Save Us

Sunset on White Oak River Near Swansboro, NC

Towns are magnets and they suck people from the countryside, especially the young and talented. We noticed this happening when we returned to New Brunswick in 2012.We farmed there in the seventies and early eighties. Since our trip, what remained of the three churches in our old town disappeared. The community store closed. Yet the provincial capital, Fredericton, is thriving as the small towns wither.  It is a story repeated time and again in Canada and the United States.

I still worry that some of those wild places like the North Carolina coast will become too populated. I sometimes think that what we call the Northern Outer Banks from Corolla to Cape Hatteras will sink into the seas just from the weight of all those beach castles. I offer up my profound thanks for those who created the National Seashores. Beyond nourishing our souls places like coastal Carteret County and hilly Davie County where we now live grow a lot of food that North Carolina cities need.

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Empty Promises

No Paper in the Driveway and An Empty Newspaper Box

I don’t want to be the old guy complaining about other people trying to earn a living. I would like to provide some constructive criticism that might make all of our lives easier.

I spent nearly twenty years at Apple and anyone who knows me will quickly tell you that I am no Steve Jobs fan. I saw him do things that were nothing but mean and contributed nothing to the great products that came out of the company.

However, the one thing that I learned of value from time within the Steve Job’s orbit is that the hardest thing is to say no to things that you might like to do but aren’t in your sweet spot. I would add that if you cannot do something with passion and precision, find something else to do.

Obviously sometimes you really need money and I understand those pressures because I have had my back to the wall with a payment or bill due.  I have been lucky that I have always found ways, one time I sold our bulldozer, to keep going until better times. Those better times have always taken me to opportunities where I was proud to work and more importantly eager to do my best.

So here is the problem today. People take jobs and commit to doing the work, then they don’t do the job. Some never master what it takes to do the job. Some pretend to do the job. Others do not even bother to show up. We have been amazed when trying to hire students to do data entry as part time jobs. It is not hard work, yet continually people commit to working x-number of hours but only work half that. Then there are those who promise but never show.

The problem is widespread. (Read More)

The Five Shirt Day

My Work Shirt

An overlooked challenge of the pandemic is that it has been very hard on clothing, specifically shirts. I have never been easy on clothing. I have a long history of getting dirty.  When we lived on the farm, my wife, Glenda, was known to sometimes hose me down and make me take my dirty clothes off in the woodshed before I could come into the house. Back in my lawn mowing days on the North Carolina coast, not only did I come in encrusted in dirt from a yard that was more dust than grass at times but I also ended up fishing, walking on the beach, gardening and working at my desk. It all required a lot of different clothes, but I am not sure that I ever had a five shirt day.

The pandemic has made it more challenging to do almost everything except work from home. The statement that clothes make the man or woman has changed to shirts make the man or woman.  With Zoom and Team conference calls, how you look on video is what matters these days and our video cameras only show us from us from the face down to our desks.  So we pay attention to the shirts that we wear.

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The Shade Trees Are Still There, We Aren’t

Shade Tree, Mount Airy, NC

I remember well the Sunday afternoons under the shade trees enjoying watermelon or homemade peach ice cream. As children, we played like there was no tomorrow.  It was a simpler time when people could actually talk politics without getting angry.  There was nothing like an old fashioned chicken stew to bring families together in North Carolina’s rolling hills. 

There were no chicken stews that I got to attend during my college years. Those were the especially turbulent late sixties and early seventies and I was far away from North Carolina in Cambridge, Massachusetts.  As I finished my degree in the summer of 1971, I needed to get away from those strange-hued city-night skies where it was impossible to see the stars.

Just as people used to gather under shade trees in North Carolina, friends used to just drop by on Sunday afternoons at our farm for visit. It was a great excuse to stop working and spend some time catching up on the neighborhood news. It was the way people built relationships, established trust and found common ground.  I cannot ever remember discussing politics.

Beyond the impromptu visits, there were community picnics, shared meals, church services (even burials) and work done for the good of the community. All these things made for richer shared lives. When we were on the farm, I never doubted that the community and friends helped us be successful. The support of their communities was essential to success of farming when we had our farm.

That was back in the seventies. The fifty years since then have not been kind to under the shade tree gatherings or any of the other ways that we connected and established relationships.

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The Ghost I Knew

The Pine Street House

You cannot have a ghost story without a spooky, somewhat mysterious house. Where I grew up in rural Forsyth County was nothing like that but things change.

When I was about three in 1952, mother and I moved into a new house mother had built in Lewisville on Styers Street next door to my great grandmother, Millie Ann Crews Styers. She was ninety-nine the spring of 1952 when we moved into our new house. While she was still alive a the year and one half after we moved, one of my chores was to run over to her little house to see if she was still sitting upright in her rocking chair by her wood-stove and reading the newspaper.

Our new house had a beauty shop attached and a breezeway. The breezeway eventually got turned into my bedroom. There were no ghostly things in our Lewisville house unless you count the scary smell of the permanent solutions mother administered to ladies in the beauty shop adjacent to my bedroom. It was her high margin item so she was happy to do as many as possible in spite of the toxic fumes.

Then the fall of 1963, my mother moved back to 347 West Pine Street (pictured above) in Mount Airy, North Carolina. My first Thanksgiving trip home from boarding school was to that house by way of a Piedmont Airlines puddle-jumper. I was attending McCallie, a Presbyterian military school in Chattanooga, Tennessee. On that first flight home, I still remember they didn’t turn the airplane engines off when did a touch and go in Asheville. They just lowered the steps that came from the tail. Passengers exited, and we continued our flight. It was my first and only flight to the Winston-Salem airport. After that they all started and ended in Greensboro.

Since I left for boarding school, mybedroom had moved from our non-spooky house in Lewisville about thirty-eight miles away to the huge to me Pine Street house which certainly had the potential for spookiness. My dad had been in a house at that location since around the turn of the century. My mom lived there from the mid-twenties until just before I was born in 1949 in Charlotte, North Carolina. For many years, she ran a beauty shop on Main St. in Mount Airy, near Snappy Lunch, just walking distance from the Pine Street house.


The house also had a lot of history, some of it gruesome including a fire that destroyed most of the original house. Lots of history is certainly helpfully when looking for ghosts. Many of stories that the house’s four walls could tell never got explained to me before everyone who could shed light on the mysteries died.


Some the questions that I wanted answered never got addressed because no one ever wanted to talk about them. There were things that I did not even know to ask when I was growing up.


The house at 347 West Pine Street is an imposing home with bedrooms on three floors and noisy old hot boiler that made lots of strange sounds in the night. There was so much water pressure in the showers, that I thought it might take my skin off. It was something of a dark, magic house likely with secret passages. It was a good place to let your imagination run wild especially if you are a country boy more comfortable in the woods than in a big fancy house. By the time, I got old enough to care about the secrets of the house, I was on a mission to get away from the house and Mount Airy. That mission took me to Canada by the time I was twenty-two.


Upstairs above the floor with the bedrooms was a full stick-framed attic complete with walnut banisters. If ever there was an area that could house ghosts along with mysterious locked steamer trunks, this attic was it. The house even had a laundry chute which went all the way to the basement where there was a bedroom and bathroom for a maid. The kitchen, dining room, and great room were on the second floor along with the bedroom my father was reduced to using because of a stroke. I ended with the master bedroom and Mertha, the maid, took to calling me Mister David.


It did not take me long to figure out that the history I did not know about was powerful in the minds of others. My Aunt Molly when she visited would not stay in the guest bedroom. She always slept in one of the twin beds in my mother’s bedroom. Eventually I heard the story about my father’s first wife’s attempted suicide. My mother, who at the time was nursing my grandmother Sobotta, found my father’s first wife hanging from the walnut railing around the top of the stairs. She saved her but the one traumatic story that I heard about was born. I know there were others but I never heard them.


I was never afraid of the house but there were some strange things that made you wonder like how cool the hallway always felt between my bedroom and the stairs to the attic. Of course there were strange noises but it was an old house. Then in 1974 after my dad had died, my wife and I were staying in my bedroom after coming back from our place in Canada. It was our first night in the house as a married couple.


We were going to bed and all of sudden the two electrical panels started popping. It was like someone was running between the two floors using the steep back stairs flipping the ancient circuit breakers off and on except the lights didn’t go off and on. The circuit breakers, the first ever for Surry County, were not easy to move from one position to the other. They also made a loud noise. My mother was sound asleep in her bedroom. She always slept with a baseball bat by her bed but said the ghost had never bothered her. I thought someone had broken into the house. I took my Remington semi-automatic shotgun from my gun cabinet and checked the whole house. All doors were locked and no windows had been breached. Things quieted down as soon as I left my bedroom. To this day, I have never solved the riddle of the noise that night. I came to believe the ghost was welcoming my wife to the old house.


My mother deeded the house to my wife and me in 2000 when she moved in with us after her friend, RJ Berrier, a local newsman, died. He had taken over my bedroom for the last fifteen years so mother could still live there. If possible the house got even spookier with no live souls in it. Mother died in the spring of 2004. I often said that if there was a ghost in the house, it would have to deal with the life force of my mother when she entered the realm of spirits. My money was always on my mother winning any battle, even one of the spirits.


After her death, we were faced with cleaning out one hundred years of stuff that had accumulated in the Pine Street house. It took us a few years and we often spent weekends working on the house. One weekend my wife was working in a hall closet on the main floor. She looked towards the foyer and saw something translucent and triangular shaped floating from the stairs to the dining room. We are pretty grounded people but we could never come up with an explanation that made any sense. It was probably my imagination, but the upstairs hallway felt particularly cold that day.


This might prove I am crazy but not long after that I decided that the blinds in the attic had to go. I ripped them down and threw open the windows. It was not long after that when I noticed how warm the upstairs hallway felt. I smiled and thought to myself that my mother’s spirit had prevailed and the restless ghost had been driven out once I opened the windows and made sure the attic got plenty of sunshine.

Even after that I was the only one willing to spend the night in the house alone. By that time the guns were long gone but so was the evil ghost.

After we sold the house there were rumors guests in the house, now a bed and breakfast, seeing an ephemeral lady in a blue dress leaning over the bed in the bedrooms and of a jar of honey that moved from one shelf in the kitchen to the counter without human help. I probably can guess the name of the new ghost living there now.

A Cathedral of Leaves

Trees at Rich Park in Mocksville, North Carolina

Apparently none of the storybook scary tales of danger in the forest ever stuck with me.  In rural North Carolina in the fifties, no one worried about evil happening in the forests that surrounded us. We did not understand it at the time, but the cathedral of leaves where we played immensely enriched our lives. As a fifties explorer of the local woods, I could not make the connection because I had yet to experience any of the great cathedrals of the world.  Now it seems pretty obvious.

In the summertime, we got up in the morning and headed to the coolness of the deep woods. The towering trees and the brooks that ran through them were our playgrounds. We built dams, seined for minnows, made forts, and played elaborate games in the woods. Sometimes we hardly bothered to leave the woods for meals. We barely escaped the trees as dark descended on the forest.

(Read more) This is post number nine in a series of twenty-two designed to get my blog to 1700 posts before Thanksgiving 2021.

Turkey Tussles

Our perfect 2012 Turkey

The first turkey that I remember being prepared in our house was cooked after we moved to the Mount Airy house with my dad. The first Thanksgiving at college, I did not come home but I got invited out by a college friend, Jack. We had a wonderful dinner and I got my one and only opportunity so far to sample stuffing with oysters.

The next memorable Thanksgiving happened after college. I had purchased an old farmhouse with a barn and 140 acres on the shores of the Bay of Fundy in Nova Scotia. Four of us had spent months remodeling the two-hundred year old house with hand-hewed beams. College friends came up to celebrate that first Thanksgiving on our own in the fall of 1971. We bought the biggest turkey we could find and the ladies in the group figured out how to cook it.

Little did I know I was already on the slippery slope to a smaller turkey and eventually just a turkey breast. I never take exception with the cook but I sure do miss those whole turkeys. (Read more)

If Silver Could Talk

Silver Ladle from Pine Street

Silver is not very popular these days. Some silver things can hardly be given away. My generation has one foot in the world where silver items were well used and certainly respected and today’s world where silver pieces cannot find a home where they even see the light of day and a little polish.

At least this straddling of worlds provides a little perspective. I know my mother who was definitely not born with a silver spoon in her mouth learned to love silver when she became the grand lady of the house at 347 West Pine St. My dad who I hardly knew loved to have dinner parties. In those days, the first half of the last century, a good party apparently required silver. I wasn’t around but the silver was and if only it could talk. (Read more)

Finally a Backyard

Our Backyard in the North Carolina Foothills

It seems since my childhood that I have spent much of my life searching for a backyard. I have had hayfields and marshes as backyard but until this last move none were close to the one where I played ball with friends when I was in elementary school. I could plow up part of it for a huge garden but I have been there and enjoyed that when I was a lot younger. Read more.

Not the Last Farmer’s Market

Mocksville, NC Farmer’s Market, November 3, 2021

We actually started going to farmer’s markets as a couple when we were living north of Fredericton, New Brunswick. We went to see people and to pick up a few things that we did not grow on our own farm. Even more so than most farmer’s markets, there were homemade items interspersed with farm produce. There were no food items that we really needed but I think we went home with baskets to use with our own garden produce. Still we enjoyed the market especially the people.

Maybe it was because we had dirt under our fingernails and a close connection to producing food but for whatever reason, visiting farmer’s market became a life-long passion. Read More